We awake as if from a deep sleep. Above us the canopy opens up to reveal brilliant blue skies and the feeling of claustrophobia dissipates. Sunshine bathes us in golden light, energising and life-affirming. Our previous reluctance to proceed any further has vanished and insight finally dawns upon us. We must push on, it is imperative that we reach a place of safety before dark. Our destination lies further down the steep-sided valley, but to reach it we have to make our way along the river. The air is warm and comfortable here, the vegetation lush and profuse. Soon we spot the huge cave entrance high up the mountainside. Our steps lead us to the mouth of a cave along a narrow path. The cave is symbolic of the womb and the Void. It is a space in which we come to face our fears and our true selves. The experience may either strengthen or destroy us. Regardless of the reasons for entering this otherworldly place, transformations will be set in motion.
The Great Mother Bear will welcome her children and prepare them for the journey into the Void. They will be laid to rest within the darkness of her fecund womb until the time of rebirth in the Spring. Before that can happen the person undergoing this rite of passage must reflect upon their reasons for this undertaking. This is important, otherwise the journey has been of little use. We emerge from our musings to find a figure watching us. An androgynous figure, clothed in an animal skin and carrying a thick staff. Two serpents are entwined round the staff which is topped with a pine cone. Their dark eyes survey us humorously. This is our Guide, entrusted with our safety and guardian through the worlds. We are invited into the cave, a simple lamp handed to us to light the way. Now begins the transformation.
This is such an ancient place. It has seen the passage of tens of thousands of years, a place of great power and ritual. Deeper and deeper we travel into the earth, it feels like a place set apart from time. There are images of animals painted upon the cave walls, conveying such beauty and grace. Wildlife flow across the walls, rhinos, horses, bison, lions. All executed with such finesse and artistry. A feat never to be equalled by modern humanity. As we travel deeper into the cave these paintings start depicting cave bears etched in red, to be followed by composite creatures, part bear and part human. Curious…We look back at our Guide, who remains silent. This is our journey, so the insights must come from within. Finally we enter the deepest part of the cave, into a broad, circular chamber. In the middle of this chamber is an altar, upon which is placed the skull of a bear. Numerous bear skulls have been placed around this chamber.
The only illumination comes from a fire behind the altar. By now our sense of reality is slightly distorted, something about the air down here is affecting our sense perception. A circle of figures are sitting round the fire, we cannot be sure whether they are human or animal. Each is clothed in a large bearskin. Their eyes glint brightly at us. The fire throws huge shadows on the cavern wall. Our Guide smiles reassuringly and gestures towards the bearskin placed in front of the altar. We lie down on it automatically, hands then wrap the skin around us.
A rhythmic sound snakes its way around each of the figures and when it reaches us it throbs intensely, echoing the beat of our frightened hearts. This seems to go on for some time. We feel our eyelids closing and try to stop falling asleep. The sound ceases suddenly, the quality of the air changing subtly. We feel our breath force itself through our lungs until it stops abruptly. Our hands reach upwards and to our shock they appear to be huge, clawed paws. No human voice issues from our mouths, only a plaintive mewl. A low hum begins drowning out our cries, strangely it seems to soothe our fears. We look up to see a beautiful, luminous face looking down at us, we see Her. She offers her blessings, love and protection to sustain us through the final part of our journey. We are now ready to release our old selves. She turns to our Guide who nods and bestows a blessing upon us. We cross the threshold between this world and the next and the mists close. In our dreams we enter the cave of our ancestors, to seek their counsel and join our essence theirs, this was our tradition from the dawn of time and will continue until time ceases to be.
The journey is not yet over as we will have to face the truth at the centre of the Labyrinth and return totally transformed by its revelatory message. That is the reality of this experience, we must either return or be destroyed by what has been revealed. Make your choice. There is one certainty though, we will leave the cave when the time comes, as to linger in this sacred space would lead to repercussions. Remember that. It is not to be used as an escape from your problems.
We slumber on the ship of death as it flows towards the Great Sea. The world around us does not stand still as the hand of Time changes all that it touches. Our Guide remains steadfast by our side, that much we can rely on throughout this transition. Soon, so soon we feel the hand of Life touch us. The Universe begins to stir, nature awakes from its sleep and unveils her beauty. We feel her kiss upon our brow. Time to return. We take a deep breath and draw in the universal life force. It kick starts our heart, sacred temple and sanctuary of the Soul. Our Guide gently helps us up and leads us through the labyrinth of passageways to the cave entrance. We look down at our hands and feet, reassuringly human now. Words of wisdom are whispered in our ear, simple words yet so powerful in their affect. The Guardian of Souls and Psychopomp watches another initiate leave, for this what we have become. We traverse the valley and forest at great speed. We have found our mojo! Finally we emerge from the reality that is the Subconscious to the Conscious, the road is crossed and we are home. We look back and notice that there is no sign of the road kill. In fact there is no sign of the road. Curious…
Campbell, Joseph. The Hero with a thousand faces. Bollingen Series XVII, Princeton University Press, Princeton and Oxford, 2004
Dear Reader, much has happened since my last article regarding the LifeRites Foundation course. The Universe has seen fit to initiate a series of events which have changed my life and the lives of others around me. As I write this article we are in the midst of Winter, the Child of Light has entered this world, and I am at the end of one cycle of life and about to enter another. Cold, short dark days tend to focus the mind inwards. I see death and decay all round me including those aspects of my own life that need to be released. This is no bad thing. A timely reminder that I have been out of kilter with the world around me, enmeshed within the artificial bubble created by our modern world. I have left a job which was becoming increasingly dissatisfactory and leaving a toxic environment which was draining my energies. Stagnant waters breed dis-ease. The old self was in the throes of death, but I was reluctant to let go. My spirit had given up, numbed by a lack of creativity, reason and fear. I sense that this situation is not unique to me.
Something was rising up from the depths of the subconscious and it was scaring me. Forgive me for sharing these personal details, they do have their place within this tale, which is one of death and rebirth. I am speaking of course of things symbolic, of experiences we share on a deep psychic level with our remote ancestors. These experiences are rites of passage –into adulthood, into wisdom of elder years, the birth of a child and death, both physical and symbolic. These are only a few of the threads that connect us to our ancestors across a divide of thousands of years and one can only speculate at the ritual mysteries unveiled to the participants in those ancient times. Things are not so different in modern times, the human spirit is still in need of healing and integration but the healers and shamans have metamorphosed into different entities now. Let me be frank, change and transmutation are not easy experiences. Pain is pain whatever century you find yourself in. Human nature does not intrinsically change. You may or may not agree, that is your prerogative. For one moment though I ask you to shed your modern niceties, find a quiet place, preferably outdoors and just listen to the sounds of your inner world. What can you hear? Are you able to bear the inner silence? (more of this later in our journey)
At times our burdens seem too great to carry but one must not underestimate the courage and endurance of the spirit, if not its practicality. The Universe will only tolerate so much miserable self-absorption on our part before delivering a good kick up the bottom and we then find ourselves in the path of a fast moving vehicle. Ending up as road-kill, to be fed upon by crows. The bloody aftermath can be a little unpleasant don’t you think?
The human psyche is a complex country, our travels along its highways affected by dreams, eureka moments and intuition. Such is the canvas that our Heroic journeys are painted upon, “perhaps some of us have to go through dark and devious ways before we can find the river of peace or the highroad to the soul's destination.”
Quite. As we contemplate this bloody mess our eyes look up to see a great forest unravelling before us. It looks forbidding, almost stretching into infinity. After a little hesitation we move forward, already dead, what else can happen to us? The passage through “dark and devious ways” has begun and we cannot turn back.
With that first step from the road going nowhere we have now entered the realm of the supernatural, the liminal. The Heroic journey has begun. Before we go any further it may be useful to shed light on the constituent parts of a rite of passage (an initiation if you may), a three - stage process that is culturally universal. Consisting of:
A call is answered to initiate a change in your life. This can come in many forms. Preparation is made to leave the old life (its death) and journey towards the new life.
A time spent between the worlds, living a life which is filled with trials and tribulations, where you may be pushed to your limits. Your soul and spirit are tested, as is your resolve to overcame the adversities and remain true to yourself. Rebirth has not occurred at this stage. Usually this period would be spent alone in nature (if your were on a Vision Quest for example) but if this is not possible it can happen in our everyday lives. Perhaps harder to manage in a lot of ways if this is the case.
This is the final stage whereby you leave the place of initiation and return to your community, family and friends. Rebirth has occurred and sacred knowledge is brought back for the benefit of the whole. You are not who you were when the journey began, a change in consciousness has occurred.
I hope you are still with me. Where to now you ask? We move forward into that great unknown expanse of our inner world, that’s where. The sun is streaming through the green canopy creating shadows on the forest floor. Gigantic trees rise majestically into the skies, sentinels guarding the sacred ways. There are deep slashes in the bark of one of the trees, claw marks. Curiosity causes us to place our fingers into the grooves. A surge of energy shocks and exhilarates. For a brief moment we can see through the eyes of this elusive creature, revered totem of many cultures for millenia. Signifying strength and resilience, providing courage in the face of adversity, in touch with the Earth and natural cycles. For it is Bear who guides us in the journey towards healing and well-being on all levels. Out of the corner of our eyes we spot something moving in the undergrowth, the bear stares briefly and then moves swiftly on as if to say hurry up. We lose sight of them in this vast space. It makes us uneasy.
This primeval forest is not at all what we imagined it to be. It feels sentient, knowing and filled with immense power. What is glimpsed between the trees causes us a little anxiety. We ask ourselves whether it was a good idea entering this area without a guide. At this moment the bear makes its presence known to remind us that this is not the case. We ruefully acknowledge this fact, not totally able to relinquish our “civilised” sensibilities. What the hell are we doing in this place? A good question and not easily answered. The world spins around us for one terrible moment as it grows dark. We collapse and fall awkwardly on the forest floor. Nothingness envelopes us. There is no “I”, no memory. This world does not exist.
Campbell, Joseph. The Hero with a thousand faces. Bollingen Series XVII, Princeton University Press, Princeton and Oxford, 2004
See before you the Wheel of the Year. In ancient times, as high summer holds sway there ensues a great turning seasons. And sometimes it falls out that a hero takes part in this struggle – so earning the title Champion of the Goddess. Come with us now as we re-enact this timeless magic, in the name of the Goddess Sovereignty, whose presence fills the land, in every hill and dale, in every tree and bush, in every river and stream, season on season, year in, year out, throughout all time. Lady, we ask your blessing.
Who is this who comes upon the scene? He looks a fair young lord but his brow shows lines of worry beyond his seeming years. He calls out to the forest. Listen now, he's speaking to us.
"I am Arthur, King of Kings," called the young man, looking up into the high branches. "I am Lord of this Land and this morning I did wake to the call of the hunt, I heard the horn call me from my slumbers and I came out into the forest.” He stopped as he caught sight of the white hart just walking delicately into the glade. “And there she stands, the Antlered One, the Lady of the Ways."
The hart saw him immediately and turned to flee. Quick as thought, the young man had an arrow to his bow and loosed it. It sped straight to her heart and now she lay dead at his feet. He took his hunting knife and began immediately to skin her.
"I will take her skin to cover me," he whispered to himself "and her flesh to feed my hounds."
The leaves on the great oak tree under which he knelt began to quiver and a huge creature emerged. It had the shape of a man but was made entirely of leaves and branches. His antlers shimmered as the last golden rays of the sun caught them.
"Who harries here?" He cried, in a voice like a great bell, "Here in the Lands of Summer?" He towered over the king, shaking his club.
"I do." Arthur jumped to his feet, standing ready to defend himself. "I, Arthur, who am called the King, who was born on mid-winter’s eve to herald the return of the Sun. And who are you to challenge me to my hunt?"
The Green Man tossed up his club and all the leaves in his beard rustled and shook.
"Ha!" He cried. "I am Gromer Somer Jour, the Lord of the Summer Day. This is the Summer Country, my lands, and it is my hart that you have killed. And I will be avenged!" and straight way he aims a blow at Arthur's head.
Arthur just managed to get out of the way and tried to bring his knife down on the Green Man's arm but it was broken against the ancient oak. He took another blow and another and fell back against the bole of a tree.
"The day is mine. Your life is forfeit!" and the Green Man loomed over him ready to smash him to a pulp. Vainly Arthur put up an arm and cried out
"Is there no way out of this?"
"Ahhhh! He would save his life would he!" said Gromer Somer Jour to himself. "Then you shall answer me a question. Tell me, King," he turned contemptuously to Arthur. "what is it that women most desire? Think carefully before you answer! Your life is forfeit should you get it wrong."
Arthur was puzzled. he had no idea. "What can I say to this?" He muttered to himself. "What is the answer? No! – Wait! It may be he will give me time."
And he looked up into the mass of green leaves to find his gaze caught by the bright golden eyes. "Oh Lord of the Summer Day," he said "I have no answer for you now but will you give me time?"
Gromer Somer Jour pulled back, turning slightly away. He leaned on his club.
"Time?! Aye, I’ll give you time!" And the Lord of the Summer Day sniggered into his beard, he had no opinion of this bumptious young king. Then he turned back to Arthur, a cruel smile on his face.
"One chance only I’ll allow you to save your life. One year hence you must return alone to this same place and I shall know by your face if you have the answer I seek."
Arthur ducked and hid his face, turning away. "A difficult task!" he said to himself, but he knew there was nothing he could do, his fate had been sealed when he killed the hart, maybe even when he woke to the call of the hunt that morning. He turned back to Gromer Somer Jour.
"I accept!" he said with as much strength as he could muster. "One year from now I will meet you here again and I will bring you your answer."
The Lord of the Summer Day stepped back, allowing Arthur to rise. He picked up the body of the beautiful hart and carried it off with him over his shoulders. Arthur bowed to his retreating back and then turned to go off in the opposite direction. As he was making his way slowly back to his castle a strange figure came out of the bushes beside him riding a beautiful white steed. The horse was bravely harnessed but the creature aboard it, although clad in silks, was like nothing on earth.
"God’s teeth! What’s this?!" Arthur's breath hissed and he stood at bay despite the beauty of the palfrey.
"By what right do you wander in the Lands of Summer?" The creature addressed him.
"In the name of the Lady of this Land. I am the son of the Kingfisher, the Winter King." He answered as bravely as he could. He had never seen the like of this in his life before.
"Ahhhh!" she sighed the word out long and hissing like a snake. "Then you are Arthur! And I know your quest. I am Ragnall, the owl who passes across the face of the moon and causes all who see me to shiver. I am mistress of the beasts. I hold within me all creatures and give them succour. Any man who harms a beast, harms me! Any man who harms a plant, a flower or a tree, harms me!"
Arthur followed her speech, watching the passage of her hand across the sky and shivered. He could help himself, he ducked and held up a hand as she pointed her long green finger nail at him with her final words. He peered up into her face.
"You are awful!" He whispered. "I see in your face the face of every beast in the world. Your eyes are owl’s eyes; your nose, a cat’s nose; your ears, lion’s ears; your teeth are wolf’s teeth; your hands are bear’s claws and your feet are the hooves of goats. Your legs are like tree roots; your body is gnarled like the trunk of Yggdrasil and your arms are knotted branches. Your breasts are great hills and mountains and your belly and hips are big enough to birth the world!"
As he finished she slithered down from her horse and crouched before him, her knees bent as though she was about to drop a calf. She cackled.
"Aye! I am hideous in my diversity." And she pawed at him with a clawed hand. "Men shun me. Women despise me. I am fearful to all eyes. And yet," she drooled, "I know the answer you seek."
Arthur was disgusted, he turned away. But he has heard her words. "She does?" He questioned himself. "She might!" and hope sprang in his heart.
The dreadful creature followed him and tried to rub her face against the silk cloth of his hunting tunic. He dared not move.
"And I know that you will fail" her hands tugged at him "unless I give you the one right answer that the Lord of the Summer Day requires."
Arthur shuddered at her nearness and the smell of her but he dared not risk alienating her. She could have the answer the needed He leaned against the tree and whispered to it "But would she give it me?" He made up his mind and turned.
"Would you give me this answer or my life is forfeit to the Lord of Summer?"
"But what would you give me for that answer. Every answer has its price!" She was as quick as he.
"And that’s the truth!" he muttered to himself. "What is the price of this answer? And can I afford to pay it? But it is my life and my life is the land …" He made a decision.
"What is the cost of this answer? What will you ask of me in return?"
"Why …!" She turned about, almost as if she would be coy with him. "I am hideous, awful as you say! But I would have me a husband. I wish a consort for all time, to live with me and love me here in the Summer Lands."
Arthur was aghast! "I cannot marry you!" He cried in terror. "I am husbanding already to my Flower Bride, my Gwenhifar, my White Owl!"
"Aye! I know this!" and she laughed at his horror. "I would’t have him anyway!" she muttered to herself, but loud enough for him to hear. "I would have the youngling, the tannaiste, the stand in for the king!"
"Ye gods!" The exclamation escaped him and he tried to catch it back with a hand over his mouth. "My Hawk of May, who stands in my stead!" And then he turned to Ragnall again. "Gawain? You would have Gawain?"
"Aye!" She chuckled, yellow saliva frothing about her rotting gums. "I would have Gawain. Gawain of the red hair, who has the heat and fire of summer flowing through his veins."
Arthur was appalled. "My brave knight!" he whispered. "Must he wed this creature? How can I ask this of him? How can I not? It is my life that is at stake and my life is the land." And he turned back again to Ragnall. "Lady, I cannot speak for him but I will ask him, and I will do all in my power to bring your wish to fruit."
"That is enough" she said to him "At this time."
And she mounted again onto the gay palfrey and turned back into the deep forest.
And so Arthur returned to court. He told Gawain all that had befallen him, his killing of the hart, the appearance of the Lord of the Summer Day, the hideous hag and her demands to marry Gawain.
"I did not know what to do" he cried to Gawain. "Gromer Somer Jour will hunt me down and find me, I must return to him in any case as a man of honour. How can we discover what it is that women most desire? This hag may indeed have the answer for there is something very strange about her and the way she knew what the Summer Lord had asked me."
"Whatever, Lord. I am your tannaiste. I am here to stand as your champion and in your stead. And in any case you know I am a free spirit, I love adventure. There will be some way through this mess if we can but find it. I will marry this Dame Ragnall, to say your life, to save the land. But, let us first see if we cannot discover for ourselves what it is that women most desire.".
And so the king and the knight spent the coming year journeying. They asked every woman in every land what it was that they most desired and wrote all the answers in two great books. But none of these seemed sure to them so, at the end of that time, Arthur returned to Ragnall.
"Lady," he said. "Gawain accepts to be your husband. Now! You keep your part of the bargain."
Ragnall leaned down from her palfrey and took his collar in her hand, drawing him closer so that she could whisper in his ear.
Arthur almost choked at being so close to her, her breath was foul as sulphur, and the answer to seemed very strange to him. He managed to thank her with what courtesy he could muster and continued on his way through the forest to meet with Gromer Somer Jour. He kept repeating the answer over and over to himself, so he would remember it. But he resolved to try first with the books, so strange he found what she had said to him. He would keep Ragnall's answer up his sleeve as a last resort.
Arriving again at the clearing he found the Lord of the Summer Lands already there, waiting for him.
"Greetings, Gromer Somer Jour, Lord of the Summer Day." he called out as bravely as he could.
"Greetings, Arthur" and the leaves around his mouth shook as he spoke.
"A year has passed since we met and I am here now keeping my part of the bargain." Arthur reached up to hand over to the rough, oak bark covered hand. "Here are two books full of what women told us they most desire."
Gromer Somer Jour took the books and leafed through them, never saying a word. As he came to the end he threw them down contemptuously and raised his club.
"There’s no answer here!" He snarled triumphantly. "Forfeit your life!"
"Wait!" Cried Arthur. "I have one answer more! And he whispered what Ragnall had told him into the leaf covered ear. Gromer Somer Jour leaped back as though he had been burned.
"Hell’s teeth!" He shouted. "Only one person could have told you that! My sister, curse her!
"Sister?!" Arthur was aghast.
"But it is indeed the answer that I seek." Gromer Somer Jour quietened down although he was obviously still much aggrieved. "The Lord of the Summer Day is a man of honour" he said. "I will keep my bargain. You shall have your life!"
He bowed to Arthur and went back into the deep forest. Arthur began to make his way homeward again. He had not gone far when there was Ragnall by his side again. She cackled softly as she saw him flinch.
"Greetings, Arthur. Remember me?"
"How could I forget!" He muttered. then he pulled himself together. "Greetings, Dame Ragnall, I remember you!"
"But do you remember our bargain? I have kept my part. Now! You keep yours!" And she grabbed him by the sleeve. Arthur put his hand on hers, covering it, despite his feeling of loathing.
"I too am a king," he said "and a man of honour! I will keep my bargain." and he took Ragnall's hand in his and led her off towards the castle.
When they arrived there was much horror and consternation. Gawain was there to meet him and immediately took Ragnall on his own arm. All the young women of the court, and many that were not so young, hung on his other side. In whispers they tried to persuade him not to go through with this dreadful seeming marriage. What harm could it do now, they said. Arthur had given Gromer Somer Jour his answer and been granted his life. What need to marry the witch now?
Gawain looked at them, not knowing what to say. He understood that they meant him well but he could not understand how they could ask him to break his word.
"My friends!" he said. "Why do you weep, all of you? Why do you beg me not to wed this Loathly Lady? Can you not see there must be some enchantment at work here? The events are too strange for us not to see the hands of the gods."
But it seemed they could not. Even Guinevere, the queen, was speaking to Ragnall, asking her to relent, to give Gawain back to them or, at least, to have a quiet and retired wedding. This made Ragnall very angry.
"What’s this you say Queen Guinevere?" She leaned close to the beautiful young woman. "You wish this wedding to be quiet? Out of sight of the court? Ah, no, Lady! You shall not compound my wounding so! I will be seen! I will be Bride!" she turned to Gawain. "Let our wedding be in full sight of all the court. I wish a grand nuptial and a great feast!"
Gawain at once took her hand and kissed the filthy green claws. "Lady," he said, smiling at her "your wish is my command!
After the wedding, at the banquet, Ragnall slurped and burped and gobbled her way through plateful after plateful of food as though she had been starved. Gawain was horrified but pitied her too. He let none of his distress show as he though to himself "Poor soul! What curse is upon her that she must needs eat like this? And yet my heart senses beauty and goodness within her."
He turned to his new wife and said, very gently "Wife! Come wife! Let us to bed. Let us retire to our wedding chamber."
Wonderingly, Ragnall took a last bite of meat and gulp of wine and then allowed her husband to take her hand and lead her out of the hall and up the stairs. When they arrived in the room Gawain sent all the serving men and girls out, telling them he could manage very well, thank you, without their help. They scuttled off, grateful no doubt to be as far away from the disgusting creature as they could be. As well, he thought, they would have more time to comment to each other on how he would perform in bed. He was disgusted at the thought of the ribald mirth that would be heard in the kitchen that night.
He turned to Ragnall who was waiting, almost defiantly, beside the bed. she turned her back to him.
"Husband!" she said. "Will you be as courteous to me in bed as you are in open court?" Then she turned back to him again. "I know that if I were beautiful I would have no need to ask this question. But I would ask one favour, just one little favour. Give me a kiss, just one little kiss!
Gawain stepped forward, narrowing the gap between them, until he stood very close to her.
"Lady" and he took her in his arms "I’ll do more than kiss you!" and he made to lay her down upon the bed.
She stopped him, pushing him away, but gently.
"Now that we are one" she said softly, her voice very different from before, "it is only right that you should see me as I can be!"
… and before his eyes she transformed into the fairest woman in all the world.
"The Lord and Lady bless us!" Gawain cried out and stumbled back a pace. "My love has grown! She stands now in full flower!" He passed a hand before his eyes. As he looked at her again he saw she was still this new beautiful creature. "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." He said to her. "And thus my heart knew you to be. In god’s name, who are you?"
"Sir," and she curtsied to him, smiling under her long lashes, "I am your wife."
"How can this be?" He asked.
"Dear Gawain," and she rested a delicate white hand on his arm, "know that I was under an enchantment until I could find a man willing to wed with me with no thought for the loathsome form which I have had to wear. And you, my friend, are that man." Gawain reached towards her again, wishing to hold and kiss her, but she put him off. "Nay! There is yet one more choice for you to make, husband, if the spell is to be truly broken."
"What choice, dear wife?"
"For the rest of your life, will you have me fair my night and foul by day? Or, will you have me foul by night and fair and fair by day? The choice is yours."
He sat down on the bed. "What do I say?" he thought. "Either way it is a pickle! Fair by day will spare her the world’s loathing but I must bear the brunt of her foulness by night. If, on the other hand, her fairness by night is for our sole delight, then she must bear the brunt of the world’s loathing by day. What can I say? How can I make this choice for her?" He stood up and went to her, taking her by the shoulders and turning her to face him again.
"Lady," he said, looking deep into her eyes, "the choice must be yours!"
He felt her quiver under his hands, it almost seemed a golden light shone out of her skin. Her eyes were filled laughter.
"You have done it, husband!" she cried. "Now I see I chose aright. The spell is truly broken and I am able to be fair or foul as I choose, when I choose! I choose to be fair with you. For you have give me what every woman – indeed, husband, every man as well – desires most, the right to choose for myself who and what I am to be. And in this choice lies Sovereignty!"
And she took him in her arms and pulled him to her. " And so to bed," she whispered, "enough’s been said, the Sun and Moon are royally wed!
© Elen Sentier 2013. All rights reserved.
The sun sent a shimmering carpet of muted light through the forest, its glow warm and peaceful. He stood leaning against a tree, the sun warm on his face. He felt the calm and peace wash over him relieving the tension from his body, he heard her before he saw her.
She moved through the forest alone and content, the Lady of the light. Her robe leaving a trail of movement as leaves fluttered and fall slowly back to the forest floor. Singing softly as she wandered, touching trees gently as she passed, he watched mesmerised by her beauty and grace. He can smell her perfume as she passes by him, and his heart soars with a love so strong. His eyes take in her every movement; he slowly follows as she draws him to her. As he watches, the forest envelopes his senses and taking a step forward he disturbs the tranquillity as birds rise in a flurry of noise that echoes around the forest as they fly away.
She stops and turns, glancing around her with a nervous smile then as if in relief she laughs out loud as she watches the birds flying up into the trees. Hardly daring to breathe he stands hidden as the forest slips back into a haven of peace. She resumes her walking though with her senses alert as if sensing that he was following her. He follows as he can do nothing else as she has hold of him tight in her spell.
They move slowly on through ancient paths that have not changed with time. She loves the forest and feels at peace and as she draws him closer he can feel his senses whirl with emotions and feelings that capture his very heart and soul.
She enters a clearing and whirls around with happiness her hands held high in the air embracing all in her world. This is her place and takes it in with joy. Her oak tree strong and proud with boughs of laden foliage that shelter her as she sits. The mossy ground with faerie rings, the small stream trickling gently. He watches hidden on the edge of the clearing, the light summer breeze caressing their skin, the sun warm and the gentle whispering of the wood.
Time stands still as she sits her face raised in homage to the goddess, he can hardly breathe as he watches her every move, this maiden so beautiful and so pure.
The sun dips and she moves over to the oak, glancing around with a playful smile on her lovely face. She slowly and sensuously removes her robe; it falls slowly, moving down her perfect body like a silken river, stroking each contour before falling in a silken puddle on the forest floor. She steps out of it and raising her arms to the sky as she revels in her nudity. He can’t breathe, his heart is racing, he longs to go to her, hold and love her, this Lady of light.
Turning until she is facing where he is hidden, she smiles and calls him softly ‘M’Lord come to me for I am yours’
Slowly he walks out from behind the tree, his heart is pounding, his mouth is dry, his every move heavy as he makes his way to her.
Taking his hand she takes him to her and he feels such lust and such love that his senses take over. In haste he removes his clothing as she smiles and watches, holding him with her eyes.
His arms pull her to him and he kisses her neck, her face and then the sweetness of her mouth. The forest no longer exists as he drowns in the depth of his love. Her skin feels soft and warm against his, his manhood risen, hard and proud; he lays her down and begins the song of love. She moans as he takes each part of her body, sighs as he takes her passion and slowly he enters his Lady of Light and the joyful rocking motion of love begins as their love and passions rises in waves over them. Crying out she holds him tight as he empties his seed deep within her.
The forest whispers around the couple as they lay sleeping as time drifts away the forest is ageless in its age and beauty. He wakes and looks down at his Lady of Light asleep in his arms and drifts back to sleep with a smile on his face.
He stretches and reaches to find that she has gone, he calls, his heart heavy for he knows that there is no-one there. As years go by his heart in darkness he searches in vain for his Lady of Light and becomes of the forest waiting and hiding.
He senses her before he sees her, he is older but to him she is ageless. It is dusk and drawn to her yet again they move through the forest, he follows in awe, his heart racing, the love still so strong beating in his heart. They come to the clearing and as before they play out their roles. He hides and watches as she takes it all in with joy. She raises her hands and embraces the goddess and turns slowly to face him and softly calls ‘M’Lord come to me for I am still yours’
Heart racing with such joy he rushes to her and as he draws near he sees not a maiden of his memory but a mother. He stops his emotions in a whirl; she smiles gently and holds out her hand, as he comes to her she murmurs ’M’Lord’ and as if he was a child holds him to her breast. They stay embraced and slowly he feels his love returning and with the experience of age he slowly undresses her and kisses her neck. She moans as his lips caress her skin, she strokes and caresses him as his manhood rises hard and proud. He lays her gently on the ground her body plumper and softer from motherhood. As they feel their passion rise the slow and deeper feelings grow and he calls out for his lost love of the light and looks down on his Lady of the Dark.
Crying out she holds him tight a tear falling as he calls for his youth. They lay in passion spent and she rises, her body beautiful as mother, her soul still Light she moves away. He watches in wonder and sudden realisation that he has lost his love. A tear falls and joins hers on the ground.
She moves slowly this Lady of the Dark through her forest. He follows hidden and watches as she moves away from him, he can smell her perfume and as his love soared he realised that she was his Light and Dark, for they have grown old together. He tries to catch her but she has gone to far ahead, he calls in desperation. She turns and smiles with tears on her face and then goes from his sight.
He falls to the ground his mind is shattered for in realisation he had lost his one true love for too late he had realised that love is ageless. From Maiden to Mother to Crone they are all of the Light and dark.
“Come on Gwion Bach”, said Morda impatiently, “we have work to do, I’ve received a message from the witch Cerridwen offering us a years’ work so hurry up as we can’t afford to miss an opportunity like that”.
So I gathered up my meagre belongings and ran after Morda, who although blind was already yards ahead of me.
We headed north for Penllyn to the home of Tegid Foal and his wife the well known wise woman called Cerridwen. We approached the lake about noon the following day and although the Sun was high in the sky the lake was still veiled by mist. As we approached an austere looking hut we were greeted by a beautiful looking young woman.
“Welcome” she said softly,” my name is Creirwy and I have been sent to meet you and take you to my mother Ceridwen. Please follow me into the woods”.
I had no hesitation in following such a fair maiden as she. As we followed her we walked close to the window of the hut where I heard a scurrying sound from inside the hut which I found quite disconcerting. The inside of the hut was unlit and dark but as I peered in I was certain that I could see a small figure crouching in the darkest corner of the room.
“Hello” I called.
“He won’t answer you” said Creirwy “that is my bother Afagddu, once known as Morfran until his ugliness caused my mother to cast him into the shadows out of the sight of men. As a reminder of her shame at having produced such a creature as he she renamed him as Afagddu which means utter darkness”.
“Can nothing be done to heal his life” I asked.
“That is why you are here” she replied. “come let us go quickly, Mother has been busy collecting the herbs required for your work and has little patience since returning from her visit to the Fferyllt. You do not want to anger her or test her patience” she added.
Leaving the pathetic figure behind us we were led by Creirwy into the depths of the forest, eventually arriving at the small hut that was to be our home over the next year and a day. The dark and imposing silhouette of a bent figure could be seen standing by a large cauldron into which she appeared to be pouring in water.
“At last” she cried, “my work can begin. Come sit and I will tell you about your task”.
She pointed a long crooked finger towards a fallen log that was to be our chair. We sat and she began to tell her tale.